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Brian,

It is true that in order to protect my health when I travel, I only consume water that has been safely filtered through a bed of hops and barley. You know, I have a family to think of.

I will also say that if you can rhyme Mitenbuler with "Dancing Fool-ah", you'd have yourself a timely little poem. But that's not the point of this post, either.

To everyone else: Don't bother getting your knickers into a twist over the contents of Branding. The way it was crammed down our throats was wrong. Bottom line is: It'll be OK. It might even be good for you. Some people will really capitalize on it. I can't get into a debate about it online because the subject quickly and reliably turns into a free for all and there's nothing to be gained there.

I've sat through 5 presentations of this project, I've offended two consecutive ASHI Presidents (a personal record) and countless others with my smartass questions, criticisms, and remarks, I've railed about it on and offline. I'm cautiously on board with in now and if you're interested in talking about it one on one, get in touch. Otherwise, I fold.

Nice to be home,

Jim

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Originally posted by Jim Morrison, in part:

To everyone else: Don't bother getting your knickers into a twist over the contents of Branding. The way it was crammed down our throats was wrong. Bottom line is: It'll be OK. It might even be good for you. Some people will really capitalize on it. I can't get into a debate about it online because the subject quickly and reliably turns into a free for all and there's nothing to be gained there.

I'm cautiously on board with in now and if you're interested in talking about it one on one, get in touch. Otherwise, I fold.

Nice to be home,

Jim

What Jim said. I also fold.....

This is Kurt Mitenbuler, correspondent for TIJ @ Inspection World 2004, signing off.

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Originally posted by Jerry Simon

Kurt (or anyone)....will this Branding benefit veteran inspectors who don't even need or bother to market or advertise anymore?

It all depends on what you want and are looking for. I have all of the business I want and I don't market, I have built my business from the ground up and I could not have done it without the help I received from fellow ASHI inspectors, and the educational sessions at the annual ASHI conference.

As for the "ASHI Experience", I see this as another tool to help me compete in this ever changing profession (one of the reasons that US Inspect is upset), I will have the same tools as the major firms and franchises!!

I think that many experienced inspectors like you and myself have grown complacent or comfortable in our little corner of the market. For me I hope that the branding of ASHI will allow me to work smarter, charge more and work less.

I have paid and signed on for the experience, along with hundreds of other ASHI inspectors who attended InspectionWorld.

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Thanks Kurt, for the kind words. At the risk of sounding maudlin, you're a pretty good guy yourself! The man plays a mean set of drums, and was cutting quite a rug with some other guy's wife...but that;'s another story.

Met Jimmy Morrison, I'd let him date my daughter, if she wasn't only seven. I felt the conference was well worth the bucks, though downtown ALBQ is deader than the other Jimmy Morrison!

I took the secret handshake, drank the kool-aid, and paid my money. You can't get anywhere near the marketing tools for the money. Will it work? I've spent much more on stuff that didn't.

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All of what Scott said.

I've been lucky, haven't had to market, but I am not complacent; this is a changing market, & those that become complacent will be a memory in the coming years.

SCOTT; cool pics. What isn't visible is the people on the dance floor & others in the room laughing, talking, & enjoying a great time.

Many thanks to Jim Hemsill & his (very cool) wife who brought all the drums & instruments.

I think the drum is called a "du-beck", or something like that. I play the drums, in addition to other instruments, & had a gas jamming w/ Larry, Paul, Jim, & Roger.

Chad; what's w/ the sneakers? Did you think I was a nerd wearing orthopedic shoes?[:-eyebrows] The nerd part is accurate, but I take a certain interest in sartorial splendor. I do after all, live in the Big Dirty, where everyone knows everything about food, art, & clothes. Anything else is up for grabs, but that is what allows me to earn a decent living.

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I thought Inspection World was great. I wish I had a little more free time to hang with some of the good people I've met online, though. I was glad to have had the chance to say hello to Scott P., Paul M., Kurt M., and Chris P. -all great people.

Aside to Chris Prickett: You seem like a really bright guy, but you should think about letting your wife screen potential dates for your daughter when she's a teenager.

Next year IW will be in Austin, TX. I have a buddy in the area and will plan to be there for more than a week, I'm sure. If you've never been to an annual conference, it's more about home inspectors than ASHI and it's worth the trip.

JM

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Originally posted by Jim Morrison

Aside to Chris Prickett: You seem like a really bright guy, but you should think about letting your wife screen potential dates for your daughter when she's a teenager.

Whew! I was trying to think of a tactful way to say that, but Jim beat me to it. Good show Jim! [:D]

Chris, my step-daughter is 21 already, and believe me when you see your girl bloom right in front of you and turn into a young lady, NO boy will be good enough [:-love]. If you need any ideas on intimidation tactics, call me....I have proven methods. [:-skull] [:-shake] [:-skull]

Brian G.

A Boyfriends' Worst Nightmare [:-mummy] [:-skull] [:-splat][:-shake] [:-scared][:-ouch] [:-knockout][:-headache] [:-fight] [b)] [:(!]

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I have a daughter that is 20 and another 18. I like this. you may steal it if you like

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER NOTE:

This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

1. NAME _______________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ________________

2. HEIGHT ____________________ WEIGHT __________ I.Q _______ G.P.A.______

3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _____________ DRIVERS LICENSE # __________________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK____________________________________________________

5. HOME ADDRESS _________________ CITY/STATE ___________ ZIP _________

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?___________________________ If No., EXPLAIN ___________________________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married ____________________________

8. Do you own a van? ______ A truck with oversized tires? ______ A waterbed? _______ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A tattoo_________________ (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises )

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?____________________ _______________________________________________________________________

10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? _________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you? _____________________________________________________________________

12. Church you attend _____________ How often do you attend __________________

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? __________

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is ________

b) If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ________________

c) A woman's place is in the ________________________________________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is _____________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her ______________

( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? __________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

________________________________________ Signature ( That means your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury.) if your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back)

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Scott,

As the father of both a 32 year old and a 38 year old daughter, I can tell you this; You won't EVER have to worry about Christmas shopping for grandchildred. Just like when playing chess, you have to think ahead a little bit here.

If you don't make some changes to that application now, by the time your daughter reaches her late twenties, you will be to the point where you will start leaving an extension ladder up to her bedroom window each night.

You really do need to drop the parts about Chinese water torture and kissing Hillary.

George

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Brother Prickett,

You deal directly with the boy involved moreso than your girl. It's his heart you must strike naked fear into. Take no crap and no prisoners. Don't ask what "late" means to them, tell them what it means to them whenever they have your daughter. [:-clock]

I used to tell Nicole's boyfriends that I wished I could just stamp a number on their foreheads. "You're just the guy between boyfriend #27 and #29, I don't need to know your name." They all thought I hated them, and I never told them any different. I was actually indifferent to all but a few real jerks, but I got respect and my rules were followed 95% of the time. [:-dog]

Brian G.

No Dissin' the Dad Allowed [:-gnasher]

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Hi,

I don't have a daughter, but I regard my niece, Eun Jin, as my daughter. She'd tall for a Korean and has the kind of looks that make guys fall over themselves.

When she graduated from high school, I flew back to NJ to be at her graduation. The next day, my wife and I took her to register for college the following fall and then went to the nearest CompUsa to buy her a new computer for a graduation present. Anyway, in CompUsa we got waited on by a nice lady and spent the better part of a half hour picking out everything she needed. Then we went to the checkout and I handed the lady a credit card and she began ringing it up. Well, the phone rang, she answered it and hung up. It rang again, she answered it and hung up again. It rang about three more times, every time delaying her work, until I finally asked what the hell was going on. She turned all pink and said, Mr. O'Handley, I'm sorry, but every guy on the floor is calling over here trying to find out your niece's name. I looked around, and sure enough, a bunch of guys looking in our direction quickly averted their gaze and pretended to be doing something else. I kind of glowered as I turned and the calls stopped.

Then we drove around to the loading dock to pick up the boxes. I got out of the car to walk to the ramp and there had to be 15 guys crowding into the doorway of the dispatcher's office like a bunch of idiots trying to get a look at my niece. I looked at that pile of big boxes, turned to the group and said, "Well, aren't any of you dummies going to help her?" and the whole bunch of them literally fell all over themselves trying to get to those boxes first. They loaded up the car and I turned to the group and said, "Forget it. She'd not 18 yet," got in and drove away, leaving the whole group standing there looking foolish. Eun Jin just looked embarrassed.

She came to Seattle to visit that summer and came back from church one Sunday to ask if she could go to a concert with a guy she'd met at the church. I don't go to church. My wife is the churchgoer. I asked her to find out who the guy was and whether she knew the parents. She knew him and the parents and said that he was a good kid, so I said okay.

When he showed up the night of the concert, I sat him down in the living room to wait. I fixed my best interrogator's stare on him and told him what time I wanted her in and he said that he'd make sure they were on time. Then I said, "You know. One time my little sister went out with a guy who took her to a booze party when they were supposed to go to a concert. He was drinking, got into the car and drove her home drunk after drinking, brought her home late and put his hands on her. She came in pretty upset, but the local police wouldn't do anything about it. Funny thing about that guy, he was one of the high school football stars. Not long after that date with my sister, he was getting into his car after going to a movie alone when someone waylaid him in the dark with a 2 x 4 and broke both his kneecaps. He never played ball again and lost his college scholorship. Last I heard, he was washing cars for a living. Worse yet, they never caught the guy! Hell of a thing, ain't it?"

Well, it was bullshit of course, but the kid turned white as a sheet and nodded nervously. I could tell that he got the message. That night, he got her home 45 minutes early.

They dated off and on over the summer and finally she broke it off 'cuz he was getting too serious. He never laid a hand on her. At the end of the summer, I asked her if he'd ever told her about a conversation I'd had with him. She answered, "Yes, Uncle Mike. Thank you. It made is so much easier to deal with him all summer when I didn't have to constantly fend off his hands." [}:)]

ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!!

Mike

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Great story Mike; My daughter gets the stares now. She's 17, had a piece of crap Eclipes that was in the garage every 2 week (just traded it in for a 2002 Toyota). Every time we went to the garage, work inside stopped and of course everybody took a break and walked outside. Funny, I wonder if they ever tried to fix the problem (hey Chad, does that sound right?).

What part of New Jersey did your niece got to HS?

Darren

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Every car that comes to my shop gets fixed. I'm a freak about that.

My guys aren't even allowed to smoke on my time, if I caught em ogling some young thing they'd be in trouble.

I know, I'm a hard ass. I pay them well, treat them well, but I expect nothing but their all.

My profession is fraught with reputation problems and stigma from the past (and present).

I've done my best to isolate my shop from anything less than pristine.

Just a minute I have to go tell someone to tuck their shirt in.....

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Mike,

I love your post. As the father of three daughters (all married with children) I handled the situation a little differently. I used to let my wife handle the description of the ground rules. I sat in the same room in my favorite recliner and appeared to be indifferent while I proceeded to clean my 44 Magnum in full sight of the object of my distain. Never fired that sucker but it was clean and ready. I think I proved silence is golden. BYW I still have the weapon and with grandaughters approaching the dating age I have notified my daughters that I "Have Gun Will Travel".

NORM

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