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Life in New England

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It's only been very recently that we've been able to boast a successful football team, so most winters we just brag about our fine weather.

What happens when it gets colder?


60 above zero:

Floridians turn the heat on.

People in New England plant gardens.


50 above zero:

Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in New England sunbathe.


40 above zero:

Italian and English cars won't start.

People in New England drive with the windows down.


32 above zero:

Distilled water freezes.

Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.


20 above zero:

Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and hats.

People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.


15 above zero:

New York landlords finally turn on the heat.

People in New England have the last cookout before it turns cold.



People in Miami die - or return to Cuba.

New Englanders close the windows.


10 below zero:

Californians go to Mexico.

People in New England get out their winter coats.


25 below zero:

Hollywood disintegrates.

Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.


40 below zero:

Washington DC runs out of hot air.

People in New England let the dogs sleep inside.


100 below zero:

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.

People in New England get frustrated because "the caah won't staaht".


275 below zero:

All atomic motion stops. (Absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).

People in New England start saying, "cold 'nuff for ya?"


500 below zero

Hell freezes over.

Red Sox win the World Series

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It is true,

I'm from a place about twenty miles from the point where the New York, Connecticut and Massachusetts state lines meet in the Harlem valley at the gateway to the Berkshires. Winters there are usually miserable when other parts of the county are decent.

Around here, I work all year round in a short-sleeved polo shirt and the Seattle weather wimps here stand there shivering uncontrollably with a little January drizzle coming down or crowd around the heating registers inside while I complain about how damn stuffy the house is with the heat turned up so high.

It was the same way in the Army. I always seemed to have a disproportionate number of non-Yankees in my platoons who would turn sort of blue in mid-winter formations outside while I'd have to keep telling the Yankees to wear their field jackets so everyone would be 'uniform'. One March night in the mid-80's, I infiltrated an 'enemy' position in Alabama by slipping into a stream and swimming downstream to get inside of their position. The same night, a good 'ol boy student from Louisiana suffered hypothermia while sitting OP on that same perimeter. When I strode out of that stream and started tossing flash-bangs around the cadre staff - everyone of them southerners - absolutely freaked out. I was mildly uncomfortable until I changed my clothing.

Personally, I think most from the northeast must be hybrid yeti or something like that. How else does one explain this anomaly?



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This year's winter is not as 'bad' (yet) as last years. Last year was a hell of a long one up here, right Jimmy?

The ice on the pond out the kitchen window must be a good 7-8 inches thick....there was an ice-house here on this wedge of land I live on thru the turn of the century. Only the foundation is left in the woods...

I snow-blowed some ice for the girls to skate on last week....

New phenomenon: No one knows how to determine if the ice is 'safe' anymore...

A 'young' neighbor guy (30 ish) was freaked when the ice did it's cracking thing... has no clue about the 'nature' of the ice..

We use to have guys in small jeeps with plows clear snow from the ice in this area when I was a kid. Never had a jeep fall in..

This town (Walpole) produced a lot of hockey guys. One is now a 'player' in the New York Islanders org (Mike Millbury) and one had a hell of a career in college hockey coaching in Boston (Len Ceglarski).

BTW----A new movie out about the USA Hockey team from the late 80's... local boys from Easton, MA and Winthrop, MA were the 'stars'. Check it out.

We izz proud of our Pats by the way. Of course, I have a job on Beacon Hill tomorrow and about 1 million people (NS) are coming into Beantown to celebrate with the Pats in a parade. At the same time........

("Re-schedule" please...). "No pahkin'

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PS-We are located here 3 mi north of Gillette Stadium....when the Pats score, we can hear/see the flashes from the fireworks...

Also....you get to hear the exact key U2 is playing in and all the words...for free! (old stadium. Not so bad now with the new stadium. The Kraft family has done a good job not being idiotic neighbors. My hat is off to them. It's almost as if the stadium isn't there...

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They had ice racing in my home town. Mainly motorcycles, but occasionally with cars - Saabs mostly, 'cuz the front wheel drive gave those little 3-bangers a huge edge over the rear-drive cars.

They used to grind the heads 5/6" bolts to a point, drill a bunch of holes in the tires and mount the 'spikes' with flat washers, rubber cement and nuts. Really held great on the corners, but God help the guy who fell off his bike and got an appendage run over.

FWI, I seem to recall that one inch of ice is sufficient for people, two for cars and bikes and three for trucks. Don't remember where I learned that though. However, it wasn't uncommon to walk out in the middle of the lake and see a fish frozen about 6 inches from the surface in the ice.

I miss the winter nights when the snow muffled the sound of everything. Major kewl!



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Here's some ice...

The last one is looking straight out toward Milwaukee, which happens to be about 65 miles away. The huge mounds of ice are pressure ridges that are formed from strong west winds pushing pack ice up until is tilts like plate tectonics create mountains. The mounds are approx. 30' high above mean datum level, and are "sitting" on the bottom of the lake in about 25' of depth. IOW, the ice blocks are about 50+' tall & stretch for miles. You can walk out to the last pressure ridge, but don't go beyond it, as the ice beyond the ridge is all loose, & one will disappear right quick to an ugly cold demise.

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Originally posted by hausdok

They had ice racing in my home town. Mainly motorcycles, but occasionally with cars...

I can remember seeing guys race bikes on ice as a kid, on The Wide World of Sports (in Russia I think). They also had a game played like soccer, but on ice, on bikes, with a ball about 2 1/2 feet in diameter. In both cases the tires looked like someone had driven roofing nails through from the inside...stuck out about 2 inches...very nasty. You don't see stuff like that anymore, it's tooo dangerous. [:-dopey]

Jim's post reminds me of my In-laws jabbing me about when it snows here (very rare). "When it snows one inch down there, nobody can go anywhere 'cause they're not used to it. We don't even notice." I say "Yeah, but when it breaks 100 degrees up there people start dropping dead 'cause they're not used to it. Down here we don't even notice." It's all relative (yuk-yuk!). [:D]

Brian G.

I'd Rather Sweat Than Shiver [:-cold]

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Brian wrote:

I say "Yeah, but when it breaks 100 degrees up there people start dropping dead 'cause they're not used to it. Down here we don't even notice." It's all relative (yuk-yuk!).

Yes and no. In New York and New England it routinely gets above 100° in summer. Out here though, in the Seattle vicinity, people start to snivel about the 'heatwave' when temps near 90° and when it goes above 90 you'd think the end of the world was nearing.

I tell you. Seattlites are weather wimps.



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We don't turn on the heat in Needham until there is ice in the toilet. Usually the war dept wears two sweaters to my one. Sleep real good and not sick a lot. My son used to sleep out doors with the 10th Mountain Div. in Camp Drum. He knows not to complain. When it gets to hot, we sit on a beach in the Maine mountains. It never "just right" YEAH PATS!

Jack Ahern

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