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Around six months ago I had a bit of a plumbing issue - not on my house, my colon burst. It was on all counts an eye opening experience - nearly dying does that to a fella. After my emergency colostomy, I spent about two weeks in the hospital followed by almost two months of ass-time while I regained the strength to walk around the house first, then eventually start working.

Well.... this Wednesday I'm scheduled to have the procedure completed (reversed) and I'm getting a bit nervous and emotional (if I was a HI trying to sound smart I would say I was maudlin) and I remember how much it cheered me up to read TIJ the last time I came home from the hospital. As I recall, there were a few ongoing discussions about a couple different issues.... Anyway it made for some fine reading.

I should be in hospital for a week to ten days this time (surgery is Wed. afternoon - once the "sh!t hits the fanny" so to speak, they'll think about sending me home) but then there will be a month or so before I can work again. I'm hoping you guys might spark a discussion over the next couple days that will provide me with some entertainment while I can't work. The topic doesn't matter, just keep me from going insane sitting at home.

Thanks in advance [:P],

Brad "semi-colon" Manor

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Well, Brad,

I can't promise you any interesting, insightful, or even humorous postings from me. In fact, I can pretty well assure you that you WON'T get any.

But if I had any say-so, I would grant you a competent surgeon, a speedy recovery, and an attractive nursing staff. Pretty much in that order.

Let us know how it goes as soon as you are able. We'll be thinking about you.

Good luck!

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Brad,

I feel like we're a big family here, so best of luck brother! I'll try to keep up the banter on my end. Maybe I'll pick a fight or two, just for the hell of it!

See if you can get Mike O to tell the story he told me of his dealings with a certain association founder. Or maybe not...

Maybe we can all share our own surgery experiences. I once woke up in the middle of an operation only to hear the surgeon bitching about the crappy cordless drill he was forced to use. Again, maybe not...

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Hi Brad,

Good luck with a speedy recovery. I'll try to think of some kind of mischief to get into here to keep you entertained.

By the way, will that prodedure cure a terminal case of IBS? I'd sure like to find a cure for that, 'cuz when people say O'Handley is full of sh*t, they're right about 75% of the time - the rest of the time is spent in the throne room becoming not-so-full of sh*t. It's gotten so bad that I don't even like to schedule morning inspections anymore.

Speaking of being full of sh*t, do you know...............

ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!!

Mike

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Thanks guys!!

Mike, I have a couple boxes of colostomy bags left if you want to try the "alternative". I haven't had a chance to sit down and read the paper in six months!!!

Les, a couple coils of sausage are waiting for you. Just knock on my door! If a tall redheaded James Bond-esque Eastern European answers the door, that's my wife - say Happy Valentine's day.

-Brad

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Hey Brad!

I don't know whether you like to hunt or not, but it just occurred to me that while you're recovering you might want to spend your time training a new bird dog puppy. So, I've contacted a stud farm and expect to have a new puppy for you shortly. Here's a picture of the proud parents, Rex and Reba, when they were making your pup.

Download Attachment: icon_photo.gif BirdDogPuppies.JPG

58.8 KB

ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!!

Mike

P.S.

OK, no lectures out there. He did say he wanted to be entertained. Thanks to Jim Simmons (User name Mr. Electric) for the stud farm photo.

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Brad,

Good luck. See if this will keep you entertained.

http://www.alphainspection.com/stressrelief.htm

I come home often and find my wife playing games. She calls it marketing research. My favorite is the penguin game. Tell me what type of games you like and I'm ......this is Charlie's wife - who does NOT sit around playing games!!!! However, I do happen to know where there are several great games on the internet. I'll be happy to put any type you like on the site or share some links with you. Good luck with all and hopefully everything will "come out" all right in (from) the end.

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ode to a complete digestive tract.

Ahem

I think that you soon shall see

Or maybe you'll recall

The sheer delight, the ecstasy

of having your turd fall

Fall in the dark to watery grave

alone without complaint

a ziploc bag it will save

'twill be the ziploc saint.

And so we shall mark that day,

tattoo it with a howl

When Brad's turds are cast away

From God's good ship "Full Bowel"

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