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Bonnie Trenga

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  • Location
    USA
  • Occupation
    Editor, Proofreader and Writer

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  1. Annoying resident editor here to criticize--and therefore help you improve--this writing. I would avoid the misplaced modifier in the first sentence (Using a XXXXX moisture meter, evidence). Using a x moisture meter, I found evidence of moisture in the wall below the valley over the front bedroom. Then I would make the remaining sentences more active and then correct the spelling error (competant): When I inspected the roof and soffits/eaves and/or attic in this area, I discovered XXXXXXX, which could be the source of the leak. A competent roofing contractor should repair this because there might be hidden damage to the structure in this area. Did you all see how I made each sentence active, removing nominalizations and passive voice? If not, I would love to help you through my writing class. May I ask why it's hard for inspectors to say, "I found this" instead of "X was found"? Did someone teach you to not use "I"? It seems clients would expect you to use "I" since they know you personally are inspecting the house.
  2. Update! We had it removed. It was 5 feet deep!
  3. Ready when you are. First, do you know what nominalizations and passive voice are? It's hard to eliminate them if you don't know how to identify them. Second, would you mind trying to cut it down first? I like your four-point summary in your second message. Perhaps start with that in mind. Just one or two sentences under each head should suffice. Have fun chopping! I'll be happy to help you if you have trouble with your ax. One of my loyal clients calls me The Hatchet Lady. Bonnie
  4. I do think it makes you sound friendly, but it's a lot of verbiage to get through. If I were a customer, I might skim it or skip it. I would rather read a shorter blurb. Also, a numbered list for the layout section might be easier to follow. I did like your verb "clog." Those kind of interesting verbs make reports much more palatable. I could certainly help you tighten it up (by at least a third), get rid of nominalizations and passive voice, and fix a misplaced modifier/other grammatical issues. I might also like to alert you to my writing course, available through this site.
  5. That is wonderful news! A 13-yr-old who knows about MMs besting a who-knows-how-old inspector! Thanks for the laugh!
  6. That's good advice about winter vs. summer usage. Since it's the guest room, almost no one is ever in it, so the fan is never on. We just want the light to work when we turn it on. Mounting the remote's cradle is a great idea!! Now what about the fact that I have to press the darn button six or seven times for it to work?
  7. Thanks for all your suggestions. You're the best!
  8. Hi, guys. It's been a while since I've posted anything, so I thought I'd ask you about something annoying in my house. Our guest bedroom has a ceiling fan that has a remote controller. If I want to go in the room and turn on the light switch, it doesn't turn the light on. I have to press the buttons on the remote controller several times until it goes on. I can then turn off the light with the light switch, but if I want it on again I have to press the remote controller buttons several times. Is there an easy way for us to fix this or do we need a new switch/ceiling fan?
  9. They (AZ bark scorpions) also live in my house. Stomp!
  10. Hmm, what do you think about a 5-foot, 2-inch woman operating one of those? A bit dangerous, maybe? Especially if I find myself proofreading any words inside the vehicle (can't help it). Sincerely, She Who Wishes She Were Taller and Beefier and a Bit Less Proofready Sometimes
  11. Scott, hubby asks: Can you ask him the rough length and width of the slab and how long it took him. And if the slab I’m going to do is twice as thick does he think it will take twice as long, or will it take even longer?
  12. New question courtesy of hubby: After we determine that there isn't anything under the concrete like a gas line or whatnot (we're having people come out), he wants to know about using a bobcat with a hydraulic hammer. He can rent one. He wants to know how complicated is it to operate considering that he's never used one before. Also, if there is rebar in the concrete, will this machine break it up?
  13. Well, this could morph into a whole new thread about venomous house anti-guests. I can't even pee in the middle of the night because I'm afraid of what I might step on.
  14. Thanks for your input, Mr AZ. We're having srp, cox and mesa come out to examine it. My other thought is that with all the scorpions in the area (and house) it must be a scorpion den!
  15. We don't see any box or anything. We'll call the utilities in the morning. It was fun shoveling with hubby but it's time to leave it to the professionals. Interesting idea about the cell tower! Thanks for your input.
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