SonOfSwamp

Pardon my cynicism, but I think the hard part of populating a college HI program will be finding enough qualified students. There will have to be remedial courses aplenty. Just for the sake of (unscientifically) kicking around the idea: On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the guy on the construction site who's in charge of minding the trash fire, and 10 being a building science brainiac in the Hansen/Cramer/Katen league, where do you think the existing class of HIs fits in? WJ PS: As long as the RE lobby controls state licensing, there will be constant pressure to dumb down the HI biz and keep fees low. The RE lobby has firepower roughly equal to that of AARP. They can squash us like bugs. The only reason HIs are working today is to take the liability burden of the RE agents.

Before a would-be HI starts explaining how houses work, he needs to learn how to learn and how to teach. That means basic education should take precedence over the tech stuff, at least in the beginning. A would-be HI needs at least two college-level English classes, at least one Logic 101 class, at least one basic math class, and an architectural history course. (Not to be a pointyheaded artiste, but to learn something about how houses were built before the would-be HI picked up his first hammer.) Of course, if he's wired right and motivated, he could learn all this stuff at the public library. Without such courses, and a sound basic education, a would-be HI will not be able to learn from books and other peer-reviewed materials. He surely won't be able to explain what he knows to others. As it is now, it seems many HI rely on dubious information picked up from other HIs, RE agents, errant builders and menial laborers. Once a would-be HI becomes a successful lifelong learner, he can learn everything he needs to learn from books, the Internet, building codes, manufacturer's specs, trade association materials (such as those from the BIA), the SMACNA manual, Architectural Graphics Standards, the NAHB Performance Guidelines, etc. Then, armed with the one- or two-year college education (and/or facts picked up during many many hours in the library), he has a shot at explaining his findings, supporting his opinions, and actually doing what HI customers expect. IMHO, time spent on getting an adequate basic education is more useful than time spent at monthly HI meetings in which much (incorrect) folklore is exchanged. Also, if newbie HIs would get their education from trained educators, they'd be well ahead of the would-be HIs going to the HI Folklore Schools. Long story short, HIs should get a decent basic education, then start learning the HI biz. Starting an HI career at HI school is pretty much going backward -- like dunking the basketball in the wrong team's goal. Of course, I could be wrong... WJ id="blue">

Your info is probably newer than mine. I'm remembering the time when the NHIE was being put together, by HI volunteers, and the sample questions I read were mostly train-wreck nonsense. WJ

If one clicks on the link to the blog, one finds the usual stuff: home inspectors with opinions, but not much indication that they paid attention in school, if they went to school. The problem with HI "certifications" is that they don't come from credible sources. The NHIE is a joke test. The NACHI test is a joke test. "Certifications" from online "trade schools" are essentially meaningless. If we HIs want to boast of our education, we should take at least a few college courses, and get a decent all-around education, the kind of thing that prepares a person for lifelong learning. My SmartyPantsLawyer (SPL) tells me that code certification can give an HI some decent cred. And, just like in academia, it wouldn't hurt an HI to publish a little something now and then. WJ

I never did. Why would I want to divert water into a blind hole and have it spill into the dining room ceiling? If somebody's going to discover a defect with the backup drain, let it be the homeowner who (dumbassedly) overfilled the sink/tub. My decision was based on the fact that in my whole life as a sink/tub user, I never overflowed the sink/tub. WJ

I vote shingles over standing seam. Seen it lots of times. WJ

I'm cynical, so I'd blame the installation. But the windows might slide just fine if somebody rubs a soap bar in the tracks. Sometimes, low-tech rules. WJ

The Sex Toys ad has been there for a long time. Before that, there was an ad for a fancy lingerie vendor. I'm told that the online readership of the Scene in general, and Helter Shelter specifically, is very high. People pay significant money to get those ads put next to the columns/articles that get a lot of clicks. I have nothing to do with sales. And, for what it's worth, I don't write the headlines either. I'm a terrible headline writer. My best one, I think, was about a crackdown on sex toys in Alabama. The headline was, "Alabama, the Dildon't State." WJ

A good while back, I had an assaholic RE agent demand a copy of one of my reports. That was because my customer followed my instructions and the terms of our contract by not handing out copies of my report. The RE agent called me and gave me that, "you'll never work again in this town," speech. About ten minutes later, my lawyer called him, explained that besides my HI job, I was a card-carrying member of The Media, with a readership of about 100,000 souls per week, and further told him he could kiss both our asses. Generally, I'm real happy to be accommodating, but somtimes, I just enjoy telling weasels to kiss my ass. If I wanted to take orders from somebody, I'd get a dang job. WJ

Well, somebody dosed you up on passive voice, and other peculiar notions about communicating. It's OK with me; reporting in passive voice and ignoring one's repeated errors eventually leads to a eureka day. I don't doubt for a moment that you could teach HI instructors something about writing. Heck, my Basset hound Rufus could teach some of the ITA guys a thing or two. More importantly: I thank you sincerely for the gift of the malapropism, "report writhing." That describes perfectly the way many HIs write. A man can't have too many colorful phrases... Your bud, WJ

Duh. Double duh. I knew it was a homo-something. All who hate me may now feel free to remind me of the day I mixed up homonym and homophone. WJ

I will not completely disagree with you on this one. Using passive voice in my example just makes sense to me. If I see something that does need repaired you will not see the passive voice come out. Any help with changing the wording in my post would be appreciated. OK. You need a verb between "need" and "repaired." Not to be all curmudgeonly, but I think it's a good idea for a writer who uses passive voice to wean himself of it. Passive voice is a little bit of a crutch and a little bit of a sharp stick in the eye... WJ

Bonnie, I feel your pain. A lot of folks -- especially middle-aged ones -- get riled quickly when one points out spelling/grammar/syntax/logic mistakes. But since you're here in HI-writing land, let me gently point out: Common HI-writing mistakes can -- and do -- put a big hole in an errant HI's credibility. For instance, it's not unusual for HIs to mix up homonyms. In everyday work, we might need to write a report that contains several instances of the words cite, site and sight. If an HI gets these words mixed up repeatedly, he won't look so good to his readers. There are also technical things that trip up HI spelling. For instance, trusses have chords, which many HIs call "cords." Electrical panels have buses, which many HI call "busses." Long story short, you are doing the HI biz a huge favor if/when you point out that spelling matters, especially when one is giving advice on six- and seven-figure deals. WJ

I'll just be blunt here: If you're matching up the advice of, say, me, Katen, Mitenbuler, VanAlstine, Goodman, O'Handley, et al against the teachings of guys at HI school and HI meetings, don't take your lessons from the instructors and rubber-chicken-dinner guys. If they were decent writers, you could Google 'em and see their publications. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that you're struggling manfully to write in the "professional" style that you were taught in HI school, and maybe you think that simplifying your writing will make you sound less "professional." The "professional" HI style (which usually is the very opposite of professional) is built on the frame of passive voice. Passive-voice writing usually ends up convoluted, and overloaded with extraneous words and thoughts. The whole idea of passive voice (as I understand it) is to disown the comment, and write as if an unknown omniscient speaker were handing wisdom down to the unwashed masses. No offense to anybody, but it's just a bad idea to take writing lessons from instructors at HI schools. They're among the worst writers on earth. Letting the average HI instructor teach you how to write is like letting a monkey teach you how to build a moon rocket. HIs in general would be well served to drop the "professional" pose, and just write in normal human conversational English. Think USA Today. Think Time Magazine. Think anything but weasel-speaking bureaucrat. The only penalty for writing HI reports plainly is that the HIs' words (think Katen) leave no wiggle room. RE agents and sellers don't like that. But as long as the HI is right, RE agents and sellers get used to it. If one writes plainly, tells the truth and backs up his opinions, HI work gets easier, and might even contain some fun. WJ

I will often put things in my report that are questionable, but then qualify it with the fact that it should be ok only in that specific circumstance. For example: Drip cap flashing is recommended along the top horizontal ledges of all window trims. Flashing was omitted at the upper level windows. I am not concerned with the lack of flashing at these windows since there is an eave overhang that will protect the upper level windows. I do not typically write the above paragraph-- it is just what came to mind. The reason I put this stuff in the report is that I do not want an inspector coming in behind me saying flashing is required and should have been installed. Maybe I am wrong in doing this. Not that I want to be Mr. Nitpick, but writing up problems in passive voice, for instance, "Drip cap flashing is recommended along the top horizontal ledges of all window trims," may come naturally in your writing. That's not unusual with HIs. However, passive voice is the most-used tool in the writing toolbox of HIs who want to soften up descriptions, recommendations, etc. Passive voice, by nature, avoids clean explanations, derails the readers' trains of thought, and generally fuzzes up what the HI is trying to say. If you look at the reporting samples from Katen, Mitenbuler, VanAlstine, O'Handley, Goodman, et al, you'll see a pattern: not only can they be understood, they can't be misunderstood. If you look at the passive-voice samples offered by other brethren, you'll see a pattern that makes readers pause and think, "Huh?" When Katen writes, "replace the furnace," everybody knows exactly what he means. When a passive-voicer writes, "Recommend further evaluation by a licensed qualified hairdresser to ensure that an effort is made to correct all situations which could be conducive to deterioration, monitor situation indefinitely," nobody knows what the hell he means. Heck, they don't want to know what he means. They just wonder why he can't write plainly. It's not that every so-so or bad-writing HI gets into a bunch of trouble, and loses a six-figure lawsuit. For the most part, people like their HIs, they know that even a bad inspection is worth the low dollar that they pay, and they're generally pleased with the result. But given enough time, and enough soft and fuzzy passive voice, an HI will likely run into a situation that will clean out his deductible, or worse. I think it's brother Katen who tries out his reporting language on his mother. (If not, sorry for the error.) Trying out reporting language on grade-school kids and senior citizens is actually a brilliant idea. It ought to be part of a test to get into the HI biz. WJ

Maybe so. But not in the example below.id="blue"> That's unclear, and contains a syntax glitch. "The whatzit is damaged which?" I think a quick edit would've picked that up... This time, four short sentences would be better: The whatzit is damaged. (Add sentence of description here.) This can cause problems with... Fix the whatzit." Simply put, a short sentence or two (or three) is much more effective than a long sentence that's booby-trapped with misplaced words. I think HIs who are working on their reporting chops would get the best results by taking unnecessary words out. It's like picking up the sticks before you start pushing the lawn mower. WJid="blue">

Warning. This will sound mean. Proceed at your own risk. In my humble experience, the HIs who got in trouble got that way because they wrote soft-sell passive-voice pablum. (Look up Herner vs. HouseMaster for a court report that actually uses the terms "worthless" and "pablum" to describe an HI report.) Everybody here knows what that worthless pablum looks like, and everybody here knows it's the standard language of the HI biz. Examples: 1. An HI who did an inspection on a house, missed a lot of dead obvious roof trouble, then "blessed" the roof. He got called to inspect the same house a few months later, and actually said that the roof was better on the second trip than on the first. Court battle ensued: Hundreds of thousands of dollars lost. 2. Back when I took on a job of editing 10,000 bits of HI boilerplate, I found a recurring theme. I called it: "It's screwed up, but it's OK" writing. A windy paragraph that described a problem, followed by a suckup paragraph that tried to erase the problem. 3. Here comes the mean part: A good 90% of the HI reports I've reviewed were just plain written by illiterates. Neither their descriptions nor recommendations made any sense at all. These HIs relied on their came-with-the-software-or-checklist-report boilerplate, which was also written by illiterates who were also suckups. Simply put, these HIs were just too dumb to do the work. Lawyers can easily destroy these HIs. The lawyers pick apart the grammar, the spelling, the non-sequiturs, the logical breakdowns, the realtor-pleasing language, the "thank-you" letters to the realtors, the cozy relationships with realtors, etc. id="blue"> I'm with Les. If the HI plainly tells the customer to get the busted widget(s) fixed, that's enough. If there's a condition that warrants destructive testing/further evaluation, just say so clearly, and everything ought to be copacetic.id="blue"> The simple truth, plainly stated. (Hint: Write like Katen.) WJ id="blue">

Just for the fun of playing around with the words, I'd say that anything that's not a proper repair isn't a repair. It's just another foulup. An HI calling for a "proper repair" is much like a person looking heavenward and asking for a "breathtaking sunset," or maybe a "toe-curling orgasm." You get what you get. I might change my mind in ten minutes, but I think, in the context of HI recommendations, the word, "repair" doesn't need a modifier. WJ

Interesting take on clients. I did the everyday HI thing for 20 years, and my market was almost entirely upscale professional types, with a tiny sprinkling of waifs and strays. I worked for whole lot of doctors, lawyers, engineering types and such. They didn't want technical writing or a whole bunch of distractor boilerplate. They just wanted to know what was wrong with the house. Maybe it's a regional thing... WJ

Hey, if it works for you, that's fine with me. I can just see somebody, sometime, taking exception to the notion that "Inspected" is a term that actually means something is OK, regardless of what the glossary says. If I were king of the HI world, there would be no glossaries in HI reports. Why not just use regular words, with their regular meanings, in regular sentences? WJ

I used to tell customers and realtors to grab an ice cube out of the fridge and go test windows. That way, I didn't get the silly question, "Which windows are fogged?" The answer to that was always, "They're the ones that look fogged." Kinda like the answer to, "Which windows are stuck shut?" was, "The ones that when you push on 'em, they stay where they are." Lucky for me, I can be a likeable smartass. Sometimes... WJ

For years, I've promoted the idea that would-be HIs should have to pass the lowly GED. Those who pass would show that they have the intellectual firepower of a high school dropout with enough gumption to get his HS diploma. Before they ever fire up a flashlight, HIs should be able to read, write, reason and learn at least as well as an high-school graduate with a D-minus average. Sadly, many don't. WJ

What? "Inspected" is supposed to mean something to the poor customer? "Inspected" is neutral for sure, but it's not at all descriptive. It's completely useless as a description. It's a non-description. Heck, you could at least tell the poor customers what you saw when you inspected the inspected. Jeez, how hard is it to describe a piece of a house? WJ

Or, you could've just written something like, "I don't know what that little two-prong recessed male plug in the bathroom is. Never seen anything like it." WJ

As far as HI report writing is concerned, Katen is perfect, or dang close to it. So's Doug Hansen. Kurt is the master of explaining complicated things in few words. Les writes very well. Y'know, if smart, educated people who've been writing well for decades tell you that there's good writing and bad writing, and they explain how to make writing better, don't waste your time trying to justify bad writing. Just pay attention to the excellent writers, and do what they do. If Michael Jordan walks into the gym one day, and offers to show you how to shoot a basketball, do what he says. WJ