Grammar Jokes

[kurt]

This cracked me up........

A question mark walks into a bar?

Two quotation marks ?walk into? a bar.

The bar was walked into by the passive voice.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

What would have happened had a subjunctive walked into a bar?

An antecedent walked into a bar, and they ordered a drink.

An ellipsis walked into a bar?...

Bartender asks a woman what she wants. ?An entendre,? she says. ?Make it a double.? So he gives it to her.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.

An alliteration traipsed into a tavern, where it tangled tempestuously with an insistent, illiterate intern.

A typo wakled into a bar.

A rabbi, a priest, and a clich? walk into a bar.

Two possessive apostrophe's walk into the bar as if they owned the place.

A subject and a verb have a disagreement in a bar, and one of them pull out a pistol.

A heedless homonym walks into a bar. You think he wood of scene it write in front of him.

The Oxford Comma joined in a high-spirited debate at the bar that included his parents, Ayn Rand and the Bishop of Canterbury.

[Jerry Simon]

Three guys walking down a street. Two walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

[rkenney]

Some are well spoken, others just well punctuated.

[Jim Katen]

The Oxford Comma joined in a high-spirited debate at the bar that included his parents, Ayn Rand and the Bishop of Canterbury.

Those are all good except the last one. The Oxford Comma is actually missing (it should go after "Ayn Rand") and the misplaced modifier distracts from its point.

Here's one more, in honor of Bonnie Trenga:

A nominalization performed perambulation on its way into a bar.

[kurt]

Actually, it can be either. There are strong arguments for and against. Depends on which rules you want to abide by.

The omission made the point.