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Duplicitous Listing Agents-Bring back the pillory!


hausdok
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I'm pretty disgusted right now,

Did a house last Thursday that is 87 years old. It's perched at the head of a really really steep draw in the central area. The online ad for it looked really nice. Here's what it said then and still says:

Dutch Colonial with amazing VIEWS on Capitol Hill for under $600,000! Newly painted shingle, gorgeous shake roof, copper gutters, decks to enjoy the views (even from the fully finished MIL daylight basement), and attached garage all make this a special house. Period crown and chair rail moldings, oak floors which have been protected with carpet for years, a charming entry with a foyer that showcases the view and an excellent floor plan all make this a Capitol Hill charmer. Ready to be loved!…

When I arrived there were three big box trucks out front, huge blowers being outloaded from the house and about a dozen guys running around with some of them carrying bags of stuff out. Uh, oh.

A 1/2-inch water line had frozen in an upstairs uninsulated exterior wall. They'd had to tear up carpeting throughout and completely demo most of the plaster on the main level in the front half of the house. Damage probably would exceed $100k in a great house. This one? Not so great.

Here's what the ad still shows:

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It's waaaay steeper than it looks, believ me.

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The first thing that jumped out at me - even though all the carpeting was gone and most of the stuff that would retain smells was gone - was that the place reeked of that peculiar old person smell. You know the one I mean - urine mixed with sweat and general uncleanliness. I know, I know, that sounds cruel, but I know that some of you know what I'm talking about. I did the job on Thursday; and, despite irrigating my sinuses several times, I still couldn't get the smell out of my nose for three days afterward.

Going beyond the smell, I walked through to the kitchen and about halfway back the back left corner did a steep dive downward. Down to the basement and walked out the back. They'd added onto the house over the years and built it out over a back yard that had been fill behind a high retaining wall. The retaining wall is buckling and the flatwork behind the building has cracked and settled so badly that the lippage from side to side is about two inches.

Found a huge crack at both sides of the foundation. In the basement level garage it measures more than two inches wide at the top and tapers to zero over five feet. Downspouts around the house empty into old concrete crocks encased in the flatwork. My guess is that they've been leaking roof runoff under that flatwork and beneath the footings for decades.

Found stress cracks more than 1/8-inch wide in freshly painted drywall in the basement MIL apartment. Told the client that I thought that, conservatively, it would cost at least $100k just to stabilize the slope and get her level again; not to mention the extensive interior work that will need to be done and the new foundation needed under the back half.

He told me that's what he'd expected; they'd already consulted a structural engineer and geo-tech and just wanted me to tell them about the rest of the house.

Watching the news last night of all of the flooding and mudslides that have occurred over the past couple of days, I've been wondering if those cracks in the basement are now about a half inch wide. I'm wondering how much bending stress a house that old is going to take before the part that's settled decides to just tear away from the rest and drop into that very deep/steep draw.

If I were a buyer who were drawn to that house by the ad and then ended up wasting my time to go out there, discover that place so badly torn up and then see and feel the settling of the structure, I'd be furious.

Shameful, duplicitous, a fraud, despicable, all seem too weak in my mind to describe the agent. What I'd like to call her can't be voiced out loud in polite society.

Real estate agents who run ads like that and don't reveal this kind of thing should literally be pilloried or placed in stocks. I'd like to see them set up some stocks downtown in Pioneer square for the exclusive use for punishment of real estate agents. All of the grocery markets could dump their spoiled vegetables and fruit off at a dumpster there once a day so that passersby could werf rotting produce at the realtor held in the stocks.

Maybe we could even bring back the heavy iron masks with the split tongue hanging out of them that they used to use in Europe for liars and make the agent wear it for a month or two. Oh! Maybe we could bring back public dunking. Puget Sound is cooooooollllllllllddddd.

It's a good thing I'm not king of the world or I'd maroon all duplicitous agents out on Johnson Island and tell them to inhale deeply.

ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!!

Mike

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I'm sorta surprised that you're sorta surprised. You've been in the gig long enough to know that the more exclusive the 'hood, the weaslier the 'zoids are.

Your guy is probably loaded, and he's gonna drop a mil into and he doesn't care about the funk.

You told him what's what. Next.........

Wish I could afford that view, though. Wow, pretty nice.

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I'm sorta surprised that you're sorta surprised. You've been in the gig long enough to know that the more exclusive the 'hood, the weaslier the 'zoids are.

Your guy is probably loaded, and he's gonna drop a mil into and he doesn't care about the funk.

You told him what's what. Next.........

Wish I could afford that view, though. Wow, pretty nice.

I was thinking the same thing. Absolutely nothing surprises me about an agents angle to make the sale.

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