Jim Morrison

You can convert Ami-Pro to Word, but it twists the formatting all to Hell and who knows what happens to the photos. I can relate to sticking with the old stuff on principle, but if you can get over that, Word is infinitely easier to work with. C'mon Dennis, Would a Morrison steer you wrong? Junior

Dennis, I think people's time would be better spent designing a brand-new, 400 HP winch to drag your ancient ass into the 21st century. Say what you want about Bill Gates and Microsoft, but Word kicks ass all over Ami Pro. And that's the double-truth, Ruth. Truth be told, I don't know anything about wireless mice, or computers for that matter, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to cajole an elderly neighbor, even if you are twice the cyclist I am. Cheers, Jim

Pete, It’s not without merit, but your idea wouldn’t suit me for two reasons: 1) Ours is a high liability business to begin with. Doing less than the most comprehensive, professional inspection you’ve got in you, even by design, feels like increasing your liability to me and I’d rather not. 2) My business is 100% referrals. Doing my very best work gets me more referrals. Doing less than that might stem the referral flow, which stems cash flow. This is the wrong direction for a young capitalist like myself. Just my take on it, Jim PS You've got a 4 week old at home? Why are you wasting time on the internet when you could be taking a nap?

Nice work Kurt, I flew past that too. I look at oil fired equipment all the time and that has GOT to be stinking the joint up. No need for two tanks anyway. If it were mine, I'd have the one in the living room removed. This time tomorrow, I'll be snowed in too, Jimmy

Terence, It also needs to be protected from impact in the garage. In MA this is typically done by installing a lally column in front of the tank. Jimmy

I'm a polo shirt, jeans, and boots guy except in the summer, then I wear shorts. Jim

I think it's a regional thing. I couldn't get lock box access if I wanted it (and I sure as hell don't want it). Either a real estate agent, a homeowner, or both are on the premises for every minute of every inspection around here. It makes my fairly complicated life just a little simpler when I'm left out of that loop. In fact, our licensing law says the homebuyer is responsible to arrange for access to the house. Jim

If the issue is safety, I think everyone's risk increases exponentially by leaving the cover off. Also, I don't understand how a judge might think I'm condoning it, if I simply put it back and condemn it in my report. I understand where you're coming from, Norm, but this sounds like a good one to run past your attorney, Jim

Brian, I see that fairly often as well and don't even make mention of it. It would be hard for something like that to become a problem. Jim

Terence, Here are some free brochures from the State of Massachusetts. http://www.state.ma.us/dep.brp/wwm/t5pubs.htm%20%20 You are smart to disclaim these systems as there is much more to inspecting them than you would think. Jimmy

Some inspectors will read this and laugh. I guess I'm just a resistor. Ba-dump bump -(splash cymbal) Jimmy

Scott, I don't think charging for an additional service allows a client to hold an inspector to the standard of an expert. I charge extra to inspect outbuildings. Not because I'm an expert on outbuildings, but because they take more time. I charge extra for Radon tests too. But I make it clear I'm not an expert in Radon. I occassionally charge extra for travel. I'd love to be an expert on travelling, but I don't charge that much extra. Some guys charge extra for crawl spaces too. I'm curious to know where a statement like that came from. An inspector who got burned? An attorney with experience in HI litigation? Sommeone else? Jim

Underpromise. Overdeliver. Overcharge. Besides, I can't charge more for the SureTest, I haven't figured out how to use it yet. Jim

I got a new book for the kids the other day and read it to them last night. I was VERY distracted throughout because it sounds like the author (none other than the great Dr. Seuss) was talking about HI orgs. If you don't recognize yourself somewhere in here, you aren't being honest. I found the text elsewhere on the internet and will paste it below, but you really need the pictures to get the full effect. Anyway, for your amusement and edification: "The Big Brag The Rabbit felt mighty important that day On top of the hill in the sun where he lay. He felt SO important up there on that hill That he started in bragging, as animals will And he boasted out loud, as he threw out his chest, "Of all of the beasts in the world, I'm the best! On land, and on sea...even up in the sky No animal lives who is better than I!" "What's that?" growled a voice that was terribly gruff. "Now why do you say such ridiculous stuff?" The rabbit looked down and he saw a big bear. "I'm best of the beasts," said the bear. "And so there!" "You're not!" snapped the rabbit. "I'm better than you!" "Pooh!" the bear snorted. "Again I say Pooh!" You talk mighty big, Mr. Rabbit. That's true. But how can you prove it? Just what can you DO?" "Hmmmm..." thought the rabbit, "Now what CAN I do...?" He thought and he thought. Then he finally said, "Mr. Bear, do you see these two ears on my head? My ears are so keen and so sharp and so fine No ears in the world can hear further than mine!" "Humpf!" the bear grunted. He looked at each ear. "You say they are good," said the bear with a sneer, "But how do I know just how far they can hear?" "I'll prove," said the rabbit, "my ears are the best. You sit there and watch me. I'll prove it by test." Then he stiffened his ears till they both stood up high And pointed straight up at the blue of the sky. He stretched his ears open as wide as he could. "Shhh! I am listening!" he said as he stood. He listened so hard that he started to sweat And the fur on his ears and his forehead got wet. For seven long minutes he stood. Then he stirred And he said to the bear, "Do you know what I heard? Do you see that far mountain...? It's ninety mile off. There's a fly on that mountain. I just heard him cough! Now the cough of a fly, sir, is quite hard to hear When he's ninety mile off. But I heard it quite clear. So you see," bragged the rabbit, "it's perfectly true That my ears are the best, so I'm better than you!" The bear, for a moment, just sulked as he sat For he knew that his ears couldn't hear things like that. "This rabbit," he thought, "made a fool out of me. " So he said to the rabbit, "You hear pretty well. You can hear ninety miles. But how far can you smell? I'm the greatest of smellers," he bragged. "See my nose? This nose on my face is the finest that grows. My nose can smell anything, both far and near. With my nose I can smell twice as far as you hear!" "You can't!" snapped the rabbit. "I can!" growled the bear And he stuck his big nose 'way up high in the air. He wiggled that nose and he sniffed and he snuffed. He waggled that nose and he whiffed and he whuffed. For more than ten minutes he snaff and he snuff. Then he said the rabbit, "I've smelled far enough." "All right," said the rabbit. "Come on now and tell Exactly how far is the smell that you smell?" "Oh, I'm smelling a very far smell," said the bear. "Away past that fly on that mountain out there. I'm smelling past many great mountains beyond Six hundred miles more to the edge of the pond." "And 'way, 'way out there, by the pond you can't see, Is a very small farm. On the farm is a tree. On the tree is a branch. On the branch is a nest, A very small nest where two tiny eggs rest. Two hummingbird eggs! Only half an inch long! But my nose," said the bear, "is so wonderfully strong, My nose is so good that I smelled without fail That the egg on the left is a little bit stale! And that is a thing that no rabbit can do. So you see," the bear boasted, "I'm better than you! My smeller's so keen that it just can't be beat..." "What's that?" called a voice >From 'way down by his feet. The bear and the rabbit looked down at the ground, And they saw an old worm crawling out of the ground. "Now, boys," said the worm, "you've been bragging a lot. You both think you're great. But I think you are not. You're not half as good as a fellow like me. You hear and you smell. But how far can you SEE? Now, I'm here to prove to you big boasting guys That your nose and your ears aren't as good as my eyes!" And the little old worm cocked his head to one side And he opened his eyes and he opened them wide. And they looked far away with a strange sort of stare As if they were burning two holes in the air. The eyes of that worm almost popped from his head. He stared half an hour till his eyelids got red. "That's enough!" growled the bear. How far did you look and just what did you see?" "Well, boys," the worm answered, "that look that I took Was a look that looked further than you'll ever look! I looked 'cross the ocean, 'way out to Japan. For I can see further than anyone can. There's no one on earth who has eyesight that's finer. I looked past Japan. Then I looked across China. I looked across Egypt; then took a quick glance Across the two countries of Holland and France. Then I looked across England and, also Brazil. But I didn't stop there. I looked much further still. "And I kept right on looking and looking until I'd looked 'round the world and right back to this hill! And I saw on this hill, since my eyesight's so keen, The two biggest fools that have ever been seen! And the fools that I saw were none other than you, Who seem to have nothing else better to do Than sit here and argue who's better than who!" Then the little old worm gave his head a small jerk And he dived in his hole and went back to his work."

Roy, Yeah, but what was the wind chill? JM

Why is it every inspector I've ever met who wants licensing thinks the bar should be set exactly high enough so he's the last one over? JM

You'd have to ask Dennis, but a smooch is tantamouunt to a solicitation where I come from. JM

Dennis R. is a vocal opponent of real estate agents both here in MA and on this here internet, so he draws a lot of fire, but I think IHINA is a good group and will be around for the long haul. Dennis and I have very different styles but similar philosophies: "Charge what you're worth, give 'em more than they paid for, and make darn sure your client's happy." If that's you, and you want brokers off your back, then IHINA is worth a look. I guarantee you won't be branded without consent over there. If you were only going to join one HI org, I think ASHI (with its faults) still has to be the one. To butcher a quote from Winston Churchill, "ASHI is the worst HI organiazation ever conceived, except for all those others." Reliable sources tell me that NACHI is considering changing their name to the Jim-Morrison-the-home-inspector-not-the-singer-is the-most-fabulous-guy-around-club as soon as they can agree on a shorter acronym. If you can confirm or deny this, please send me a PM, the t-shirts I designed go to print on Thursday. JM

I don't support the "Experience" in theory, but I'll be supporting it financially, so I sure hope it pans out. To be fair the question was put to the membership, but not very clearly. Cheers, JM

My inspector buddy, Bob Caldwell, has a hardcover wiring book from circa 1920 that calls knob and tube wiring obsolete. What's a good word for obsolete plus 85 years?

Terry, Here's what I start off with: The "knob & tube" wiring (insert location here) is the original wiring in the house. It is very old, is not grounded, and is no longer considered safe because of the unsafe wiring practices of that era, and because the insulation on the wires is deteriorating. A licensed electrician must be employed to replace the "knob & tube" wiring now. This will require a permit and will be expensive. Then I tailor the comment to suit locations, amounts, conditions, etc. If I see K&T beneath the insulation in the attic floor, I make particular mention of that fire hazard. Hope this helps, JM