Report Preface/Exclusions

[John Dirks Jr]

I wrote up this for my report templates. Open to scrutiny or praise or whatever.

Preface/Exclusions

This inspection was performed in accordance with the "Standards of Practice and Code of Ethics" of the National Association of Home Inspectors (NAHI) and The State of Maryland.

Prior to the beginning of the home inspection on the above listed property, you were given some papers. They included an “Inspection Agreement / Contract for Servicesâ€

[Bonnie Trenga]

I do think it makes you sound friendly, but it's a lot of verbiage to get through. If I were a customer, I might skim it or skip it. I would rather read a shorter blurb. Also, a numbered list for the layout section might be easier to follow.

I did like your verb "clog." Those kind of interesting verbs make reports much more palatable. I could certainly help you tighten it up (by at least a third), get rid of nominalizations and passive voice, and fix a misplaced modifier/other grammatical issues.

I might also like to alert you to my writing course, available through this site.

[John Dirks Jr]

Bonnie, you being the linguistic guru that you are, I'd be honored to have you crunch it down. Go for it.

My goal is to have a common statement to be used with every report that basically says;

1. If you want the legal language go back to the agreement because you wont find that stuff here in the report.

2. Some things are written here because they have to be according to SOP.

3. Some things are written about here because I think they need to be known.

4. Some things are not written about here because the SOP does not require it and, I don't think they need to be written about.

Not really in those exact words but you get my drift don't you? I kind of want to explain up front that I wont be writing about things that don't need attention.

BTW, I have had your writing course and your writings suggested to me by some of your loyal followers at this site. I'm determined to squeeze your offerings into my busy schedule sooner or later.[:-graduat

[Bonnie Trenga]

Ready when you are.

First, do you know what nominalizations and passive voice are? It's hard to eliminate them if you don't know how to identify them.

Second, would you mind trying to cut it down first? I like your four-point summary in your second message. Perhaps start with that in mind. Just one or two sentences under each head should suffice.

Have fun chopping!

I'll be happy to help you if you have trouble with your ax. One of my loyal clients calls me The Hatchet Lady.

Bonnie

[John Dirks Jr]

I think I need to research passive voice and nominalizations. I will do that and get to work with my ax. It may take me some time as my schedule is full over the next few days. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction. We'll see if I can stay on the path.

[ozofprev]

Originally posted by AHI

I think I need to research passive voice and nominalizations. ...

If you're serious, start with Bonnie's book - it can't be beat wrt those topics!

[Brandon Chew]

Originally posted by ozofprev

Originally posted by AHI

I think I need to research passive voice and nominalizations. ...

If you're serious, start with Bonnie's book - it can't be beat wrt those topics!

Yep. It's also cheap and easy (to understand).

If Spitzer had used that approach, he'd still be Governor!