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Thanksgiving 2004

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Well I'm off to the Yankee wastelands of Southern Illinois, for 4 glorious days cooped up with a pair of sick In-laws (flu, cold, something like that). The little woman won't discuss not going. So best wishes to all for a better holiday than I'm likely to have, and remember our troops when you say thanks. If you're driving watch out for the morons (those who drive slower than me) and the maniacs (those who drive faster than me)(stolen from George Carlin).

Brian G.

Turkey Eatin' Fool

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Count yourself lucky Brian, I've got the whole wife's side of the family descending on our house for the annual squabbling match. This always involves Ma-in-law who will somehow goad at least one of her normally sane daughters to swear like a marine during the meal. I think the woman is beyond Bi-Polar and actually suffers from Reverse-Polarity. I've learnt to drink early and often, after which it's kind of funny to watch.

Anyway...Happy Thanksgiving to everyone with semi-normal families. The rest of us will just try to get through it.

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There is no such thing as a normal family. Everyone's a freak in their own way.

Both of my sisters talk non stop. I mean the "right over the top of the response" type of talking.

Two nephews play the piano badly for at least an hour each.

One guy who comes every year because we invited him once about twenty years ago always tries to burn down the house by putting all the wood in the fireplace at once to save trips. He also brings a dish he made and stands at the buffet line making sure everyone gets some and then later asks how we liked it. To be honest I hate jello. I really hate jello with marshmallows.

The jello guy's daughter who insists on riding your foot as you walk.

My Mom who for every Thanksgiving of my life has asked "Chad, you don't like squash?

My wife who counts my drinks.

And me... I'm a problem at a party.

Frankly, I'd have it no other way.

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For the first time in almost 10 years, each of my six siblings and most of our kids will be at my folks' for the holiday.

Dad is a red guy living in a blue state.

The rest of us are blue people congregating in his red house.

The beer to people ratio is 1:1.....by weight.

Hope you all enjoy your holiday. I know I will.

Much to be grateful for,

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I will be deer hunting in the morning. then going To Mommy's for lunch. (Nobody cooks like your mommy.) Then that afternoon listen to my wife nag about me eating to much.[:-censore Ahhhhh! The good life.

I wish each and everyone to have a Good and safe Thanksgiving. Enjoy it with your family's. The way life changes some of them may not be there next year to enjoy it with.

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Raise a glass to our soldiers. They would probably prefer to sit in their relatives home or their own home argueing about all the dumb things we argue about. Our freedom and ability to "gather" has been earned by our armed forces. Enjoy your meal and the freedom to complain about it. Be safe.[:-banghea

Jack Ahern Needham on the Charles

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