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Top 10 list of mistakes writing HI narrative


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Hi Bonnie,

You've got quite the mystery there. 2000 gallons a day is a lot, that's for sure. However, I once got a call back from a couple that their water bill was high and they insisted that I must have missed a water leak under their home. I went back, checked the meter and found it spinning like crazy. I crawled under the home and found it dry as a bone. I then walked the front yard. It too looked dry and was very firm. I did notice a slightly darker area of the yard, though, and suggested that we find out whether there was a water leak there.

He got a couple of shovels from the garage and we commenced digging. About 5 minutes later and at a depth of just over two feet, we still couldn't see any leak and were about to give up. I said, "Let's just go another shovel or two," and took one more shovelfull of dirt out of that hole. That's when a small thin stream of water shot about 6ft. in the air. We'd been within 6 inches of that leak and still hadn't detected it!

To this day, I think it was just dumb luck that we found it, because the yard wasn't really that much darker - certainly probably not dark enough to have caused a water detection pro to have suspected a leak.

OT - OF!!!

M.

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Hubby's Response:

The strangest thing is that we're not going through the anywhere near the water volume that we did last month: 600 gallons/day versus 2000. I guess something could have moved to block the leak and slowed it down. Also, I think we’ve eliminated a deep line as the source since it’s not in the line from the main to the house, it’s in the sprinkler system. Those sprinkler pipes just aren’t that deep and it sure would seem like you’d see dampness at the surface at a minimum.

Originally posted by hausdok

Hi Bonnie,

You've got quite the mystery there. 2000 gallons a day is a lot, that's for sure. However, I once got a call back from a couple that their water bill was high and they insisted that I must have missed a water leak under their home. I went back, checked the meter and found it spinning like crazy. I crawled under the home and found it dry as a bone. I then walked the front yard. It too looked dry and was very firm. I did notice a slightly darker area of the yard, though, and suggested that we find out whether there was a water leak there.

He got a couple of shovels from the garage and we commenced digging. About 5 minutes later and at a depth of just over two feet, we still couldn't see any leak and were about to give up. I said, "Let's just go another shovel or two," and took one more shovelfull of dirt out of that hole. That's when a small thin stream of water shot about 6ft. in the air. We'd been within 6 inches of that leak and still hadn't detected it!

To this day, I think it was just dumb luck that we found it, because the yard wasn't really that much darker - certainly probably not dark enough to have caused a water detection pro to have suspected a leak.

OT - OF!!!

M.

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Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

Hubby's Response:

The strangest thing is that we're not going through the anywhere near the water volume that we did last month: 600 gallons/day versus 2000. I guess something could have moved to block the leak and slowed it down. Also, I think we’ve eliminated a deep line as the source since it’s not in the line from the main to the house, it’s in the sprinkler system. Those sprinkler pipes just aren’t that deep and it sure would seem like you’d see dampness at the surface at a minimum.

I suppose you've ruled out the possibility that the meter was leaking a smaller amount for many months while the water company, instead of actually reading the meter, averaged your use and was simply charging you for what they *thought* you were using?

- Jim Katen, Oregon

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Well, the water company stands by its reads, so I guess they actually did read the meter. Perhaps one month they misread one digit so the usage seemed really high one month?

Originally posted by Jim Katen

Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

Hubby's Response:

The strangest thing is that we're not going through the anywhere near the water volume that we did last month: 600 gallons/day versus 2000. I guess something could have moved to block the leak and slowed it down. Also, I think we’ve eliminated a deep line as the source since it’s not in the line from the main to the house, it’s in the sprinkler system. Those sprinkler pipes just aren’t that deep and it sure would seem like you’d see dampness at the surface at a minimum.

I suppose you've ruled out the possibility that the meter was leaking a smaller amount for many months while the water company, instead of actually reading the meter, averaged your use and was simply charging you for what they *thought* you were using?

- Jim Katen, Oregon

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I checked the ASHI site and the deadline for speaker proposals has passed. That's a shame.

How many inspectors attend such a conference? What other ones might be possible?

Originally posted by kurt

Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

I have to say very good on those rewrites.

"The recommendation of" is what's called a nominalization, and it sets you up for a weak, vague and wordy sentence. These problems are some of the ones my book addresses.

I bet inspector reports are full of nominalizations! Keep an eye out and then rewrite each sentence so it has a specific subject (who is doing the action) and a verb that is not blah (a verb like "to be" is dull). When you have a clear subject and a strong verb, you'll impart more information, and you'll have a less wordy, more readable sentence.

You bet right.

"It is a recommendation of this inspector that you blah, blah, blah....."

Is that what you mean about nominalization?

You should teach a report writing class @ one of the home inspection conferences. ASHI's is next January in New Orleans.

Interested?

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Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

I checked the ASHI site and the deadline for speaker proposals has passed. That's a shame.

How many inspectors attend such a conference? What other ones might be possible?

Other national groups that host conferences include NAHI, NACHI and AII. A large private training school, ITA, also hosts a well-regarded conference each year.

ASHI's, however, is the largest and most prestigious. I think they get about 1,500 attendees each year.

Deadline or not, if you put together a well-organized outline they might still be interested in hearing from you -- if not for next year, then for the year after.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

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Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

I'm waiting to hear back from them on that.

Also, I was thinking of pitching an article to ASHI Reporter.

I'm on the Technical Committee that reviews articles for publication in the Reporter. We'd love it if you could submit an article or even a series of articles.

Send a proposal to Sandy Bourseau at sandyb@ashi.org

Tell her I sent you.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

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Excellent. I will do that!

Originally posted by Jim Katen

Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

I'm waiting to hear back from them on that.

Also, I was thinking of pitching an article to ASHI Reporter.

I'm on the Technical Committee that reviews articles for publication in the Reporter. We'd love it if you could submit an article or even a series of articles.

Send a proposal to Sandy Bourseau at sandyb@ashi.org

Tell her I sent you.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

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Even if the deadline has passed for ASHI, I would send it in. I served on the Education committee for several years and Chair of it for one year, we always had folks dropout and we needed to replace them. This happens every year. One of the reasons for the early deadline is due to all of the individual states and their approval process. It takes months to get some states to approve the education for a national conference.

Send them in!! Send them to Michael Long at ASHI. It is really not too late. Now keep in mind that they also get around 75 to 100 submittals every year and they can only use around 30 of them. The 2 hour sessions are used the most. Hint, hint!

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I guess I'm a wuss. I'll contact Mr Long again to see if I can convince him to let me do a two-hour presentation.

Originally posted by ozofprev

I know you're too nice to say anything Bonnie, but I really think that's ignorant.

The author of such a cool book on a subject so important to this 'profession', being dismissed this early can only be the result of the lazy bureaucratic stagnation that's going to kill a great organization (society). Shame, Mr. Long!

Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

Mr Long himself told me no, so that seemed like a pretty firm no.

I will definitely consider doing it the next year.

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Bonnie,

Typically you would have 100-300 at your type of presentation. However, it has been my experience that you may have more. This is a topic that cuts across all levels of the inspection business.

You can have a "booth" but that will cost ya! Scott and I worked the education circuit for several years with ASHI. You would be very well received. ASHI education is not just letting someone off the street talk for a few hours and then give the attendees continuing education credits. The presentations must be meaningful and all are proctored by ASHI committee members and evaluated. They have done a wonderful job of providing actual education not propoganda. There have been exceptions.

Do not think ill of Mike, he has a job to do and does it quite well. I would suggest contacting the Chairman of the ASHI Education committee and telling him you come with some high "recommendations" from Katen, Patterson, VanAlstine,Mike, etc.

I will be pleased to contact him on your behalf.

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Hi. I was going to finalize my proposal by Monday in the interest of time. Perhaps I could fax it to you or another guy with some pull instead, and then you could hand it to the appropriate people. Or I could send it to Mr Long as I was originally planning, and see what happens. Whatever you think.

At this point I haven't come up with a very detailed outline, but I basically want to teach chapters out of my book. I was thinking of having copies of the book on hand, which would be available for less than cover price (something like 40% off).

Originally posted by Les

Bonnie,

Typically you would have 100-300 at your type of presentation. However, it has been my experience that you may have more. This is a topic that cuts across all levels of the inspection business.

You can have a "booth" but that will cost ya! Scott and I worked the education circuit for several years with ASHI. You would be very well received. ASHI education is not just letting someone off the street talk for a few hours and then give the attendees continuing education credits. The presentations must be meaningful and all are proctored by ASHI committee members and evaluated. They have done a wonderful job of providing actual education not propoganda. There have been exceptions.

Do not think ill of Mike, he has a job to do and does it quite well. I would suggest contacting the Chairman of the ASHI Education committee and telling him you come with some high "recommendations" from Katen, Patterson, VanAlstine,Mike, etc.

I will be pleased to contact him on your behalf.

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