Top 10 list of mistakes writing HI narrative

[Inspectorjoe]

For stuff that gets convoluted in language, a simple photo, an arrow, and a quick notation is very helpful.

I still hate dinking around w/a camera, but if one has software optimized for photo use, it's very effective.

Yup, circles and arrows. Everybody understands circles and arrows.

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[Bonnie Trenga]

Hi Brandon and others who want to write better reports.

I'm Bonnie Trenga, author of "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier," a book you seemed to have enjoyed and mentioned in a post here. I noticed you were a Cornellian. Me too. Class of 1991. You?

Anyway, if any inspectors would like to chat about writing or grammar, please e-mail me at curiouscase@hotmail.com or post a note here.

Thanks, Bonnie

Originally posted by Brandon Chew

I have a copy of "The Elements of Style". It was required reading at Cornell, where I got my degree. A look into the background of the authors would make it clear why this was so.

Another good book, and one that I read based upon Kurt's recommendation, is "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier", by Bonnie Trenga. She makes her points in a way that is fun and easy to read, while driving the message home. In it she tackles what she believes are the seven most common problems that weaken writing:

-- using passive voice

-- using nominalizations (a noun you have created from a verb or an adjective)

-- using vague "-ing" words where it is not clear who is doing the action

-- using too many weak verbs (various forms of to be, do, go, get, have, occur, make, etc.)

-- misplacing modifiers (a word or a phrase that is meant to describe the nearest noun)

-- trying to put too many thoughts into one sentence

-- wordiness

I like this book because I would rather focus my energies on a small number of the most common mistakes, than to try to memorize every rule and make my writing perfect.

The book I am studying now is "Keys to Great Writing" by Stephen Wilbers. It is heavier reading than Trenga's book, but I like it because he spends a lot of time showing the reader how to put his ideas into action. His five keys are: economy, precision, action, music, and personality. He also discusses the elements of effective composition and the writing process (drafting and revising).

[ozofprev]

Hi Bonnie!

Don't know how you found us, but we are honored to see you here.

We wish your book was required reading by every home inspector.

It just spoles are image too have so meny who kant write!!! (Seriously, it riles us.)

Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

Hi Brandon and others who want to write better reports.

I'm Bonnie Trenga, author of "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier," a book you seemed to have enjoyed and mentioned in a post here. I noticed you were a Cornellian. Me too. Class of 1991. You?

Anyway, if any inspectors would like to chat about writing or grammar, please e-mail me at curiouscase@hotmail.com or post a note here.

Thanks, Bonnie

Originally posted by Brandon Chew

I have a copy of "The Elements of Style". It was required reading at Cornell, where I got my degree. A look into the background of the authors would make it clear why this was so.

Another good book, and one that I read based upon Kurt's recommendation, is "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier", by Bonnie Trenga. She makes her points in a way that is fun and easy to read, while driving the message home. In it she tackles what she believes are the seven most common problems that weaken writing:

-- using passive voice

-- using nominalizations (a noun you have created from a verb or an adjective)

-- using vague "-ing" words where it is not clear who is doing the action

-- using too many weak verbs (various forms of to be, do, go, get, have, occur, make, etc.)

-- misplacing modifiers (a word or a phrase that is meant to describe the nearest noun)

-- trying to put too many thoughts into one sentence

-- wordiness

I like this book because I would rather focus my energies on a small number of the most common mistakes, than to try to memorize every rule and make my writing perfect.

The book I am studying now is "Keys to Great Writing" by Stephen Wilbers. It is heavier reading than Trenga's book, but I like it because he spends a lot of time showing the reader how to put his ideas into action. His five keys are: economy, precision, action, music, and personality. He also discusses the elements of effective composition and the writing process (drafting and revising).

[rjw]

I happened to think earlier today of an example of how a comma can make all of the difference:

"Further expert evaluation is recommended."

"Further, expert evaluation is recommended"

I believe the first implies the HI is an expert, the second not only doesn't, but reinforces our role as generalists.

And if you end up in court, one of the rules is that ambiguous writing will be construed against the person who wrote it.

[Bonnie Trenga]

Hi. So what kinds of writing problems come up for you guys the most?

Bonnie, author of "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier: How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing"

Originally posted by rjw

I happened to think earlier today of an example of how a comma can make all of the difference:

"Further expert evaluation is recommended."

"Further, expert evaluation is recommended"

I believe the first implies the HI is an expert, the second not only doesn't, but reinforces our role as generalists.

And if you end up in court, one of the rules is that ambiguous writing will be construed against the person who wrote it.

[ozofprev]

Problems:

1.) Inspector-speak! Many inspectors are coming into the 'profession' with no qualifications. They rely on canned software that is full of bloated boilerplate to write their reports. Such boilerplate is full of disclaimers and fluff rather than information.

2.) Grammar. Those parts they do write on their own is, simply, embarrassing.

3.) Spelling. Further embarrassment.

4.) The 'regulars' on this forum are the exception. They are qualified and have much to say (if you haven't noticed.)

Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

Hi. So what kinds of writing problems come up for you guys the most?

Bonnie, author of "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier: How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing"

[randynavarro]

wow bonnie what an honner to have you her so you can see what us home inpsectors need help for.

what a crazy peeple we are!!

your help helping us figure out whats in our heads sos we can talk to our peeple wood really be apreceated!!

[Jim Katen]

Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

Hi. So what kinds of writing problems come up for you guys the most?

Bonnie, author of "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier: How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing"

The greatest problem that home inspectors face is an overabundance of crappy report-writing seminars. Typically, the wretched fools who teach these classes preach use of the passive voice because it's "more professional." They’re the same ones who encourage use of the phrase “appears to be,â€

[Darren]

I posted these classic lines over on IN last month. These are right off someone's web-site:

There is insufficient clearance to access the crawlspace under the new one story addition, and had to be evaluated from a distance with the aid of a high quality flashlight. Therefore, we cannot sensibly endorse the crawlspace.

There is a window well where the sealed window resides….

Areas of water pipes used for heating are possibility insulated with a known, or suspected, asbestos insulating material, which we are not authorized to evaluate and would not endorse.

The floor slab is cracked but not load bearing. Such cracks are common and result as a consequence of the curing process, seismic activity, ordinary settling or the presence of expansive soils but are not structurally threatening. We can elaborate, but you may wish to have a structural engineer confirm this.

If small children occupy or visit this residence, precautions should be taken to safeguard them.

The main hallway bathroom is a full, and located off the main hallway.

There is a loose wall outlet which can come loose from the wall from use.

There is an unidentified substance in the base sink, which could not be identified. Hence, we were unable to test the sink or its plumbing.

The mortar on the crown is not contoured correctly to shed water because there is none, which is its intended purpose, and should be serviced by a qualified mason.

Darren

www.aboutthehouseinspections.com

[kurt]

Originally posted by Bonnie Trenga

Hi. So what kinds of writing problems come up for you guys the most?

Bonnie, author of "The Curious Case of the Misplaced Modifier: How to Solve the Mysteries of Weak Writing"

Hey Bonnie, welcome. I'm the guy that posted the title originally; I saw the review in NYT, so I ran out & bought a copy. Very helpful & very accessible.

Darren's post humorously illustrates the fundamentals. The "writing problem that comes up the most" is few HI's can write. Software that "writes" reports is the norm . Most of the folks that provide the software have no background in writing; they're software engineers. One of the companies has an adviser/employee that writes the boilerplate who proudly flogs his Phd in English Lit; their stuff is some of the worst. (The English Lit doc has an English accent; insufferable.)

Everyone has their own cosmology about how reports should look, and what they should say. Many, many folks base these ideas on personal theories of what constitutes satisfactory writing.

When simple writing concepts are pointed out in places like this forum, most folks are offended, and the only folks that take part in the discussion are a tiny minority of HI's that understand and want to learn; the large majority of folks that can't write turn it all off because their computer told them they could write.

If you'd continue to hang around here & chime in, I'd appreciate it. Would you ever consider leading a presentation @ a home inspection convention? You'd be great, and it would be nice to have a presentation that wasn't all dried out HI stuff.

[ozofprev]

Darren posted excellent examples. Like he said, those examples were on someone's web page. The author was showcasing his best!

What is reflected by these reports is often the degree to which the author paid attention in high school.

When I taught 7th and 8th grade math in NY, I loved to see things like, "A circle is a line that goes on forever and ever, and the ends meet." A 13 year old is learning to express abstract thought. But when you see similar things in a 'professional report' it loses its 'cuteness'.

These issues aren't resolved by seminars. These issues are better handled by creating an actual profession - with real entrance requirements. I know of no organization that comes close to doing that today. So that's what we get.

[Les]

Should inspection reports be like appraisals? Fill in the blanks? Report according to a formula? Maybe!

You can't run 10,000 inspectors out of business because they can't write. Most inspectors use a written report that is 99% boiler and cya anyway.

[ozofprev]

Originally posted by Les

Should inspection reports be like appraisals? Fill in the blanks? Report according to a formula? Maybe!

You can't run 10,000 inspectors out of business because they can't write.

Les, you make a good point. Perhaps we will all be Texans some day (not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Most inspectors use a written report that is 99% boiler and cya anyway.

If that's true, and it may well be, then what are most inspectors bringing to the table? The ability to match boilerplate to what he's looking at? No boilerplate can cover every situation. At some point, the inspector is going to have to write an original thought. What then?

[kurt]

Originally posted by ozofprev

At some point, the inspector is going to have to write an original thought.

What then?

Still won't happen; they'll check a box, or punch in something meaningless. If you look @ enough (other folks) HI reports, you'll notice that almost none of them have any information conveyed in simple sentences.

There's reasons for all the report software products; folks can't write.

[ozofprev]

Originally posted by kurt

Originally posted by ozofprev

At some point, the inspector is going to have to write an original thought.

What then?

Still won't happen; they'll check a box, or punch in something meaningless. If you look @ enough (other folks) HI reports, you'll notice that almost none of them have any information conveyed in simple sentences.

There's reasons for all the report software products; folks can't write.

I completely agree with you and Les. But then I must ask, "What purpose, this thread?"

[Les]

We do all types of reports, letters, opinions, etc and have only one piece of boiler - it is a word file labeled "boiler" and five para long.

Kurt is right about most inspection reports. There is a real problem in this business because our clients do not know what to expect. I have seen one page reports that are many times better than the 23pg variety.

[ozofprev]

Originally posted by Les

We do all types of reports, letters, opinions, etc and have only one piece of boiler - it is a word file labeled "boiler" and five para long.

Kurt is right about most inspection reports. There is a real problem in this business because our clients do not know what to expect. I have seen one page reports that are many times better than the 23pg variety.

I'm looking for that icon with the head hitting the wall.

[roadguy]

"There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza"...

Catchy little ditty disguising a circular reference. My favorite example of such. This thread is a close second, though.

[hausdok]

Hi,

Gary, you aren't alone in your thinking. There are many of us in the profession that believe it's time to start pushing the profession toward a higher education requirement.

We're populated primarily with old farts like Les, Kurt and I who have backed into this from somewhere else. It's hard to teach an old dog new tricks and many - the majority, I would expect - don't want to be taught new tricks. Most are not in it for the long haul because they're already upward of 50. They're aim is to salt away as much as they can for as long as they can still physically do the work, and then maybe, if they're lucky, pull the plug and be able to live comfortably on that. So, learning to write better is not a high priority - doing as many inspections as possible for as long as they can is the priority.

Every possible line of work there is had to evolve from something. It's usually a group of folks who've learned something by trial and error and have passed on those skills to one or two folks who they'd mentored. Over time, as the skill became more and more developed, these folks met others who had learned generally the same skills by trial and error. This gave them a chance to compare notes and share ideas in order to further refine their skills.

Eventually, enough folks had learned the skill that they organized for their mutual benefit and decided that it was finally time to begin teaching the skill to succeeding generations. When that happened, educational requirements were set in place and curricula were developed. Then, as younger people began learning in those institutions and entered the profession, that older class of folks faded away, until normal entry into the profession was as a young person and through an apprenticeship or college program.

At this point in our evolution, home inspectors are still sharing notes. The home inspection "schools" that you see are largely staffed by folks who are, technically, not professional educators and whose only qualification to teach is that they've worked in this business for a number of years and are able to stand up in front of a room full of people and impart some of what they've learned through their own experience, research and through sharing notes with others, such as here on TIJ.

Les says, "You can't run 10,000 inspectors out of business because they can't write," but the fact is that, sooner or later that's going to happen anyway, if this profession evolves the way that others have.

The time is going to come when some of us in this profession will have the moral courage to start true institutions of higher learning for home inspectors. The demographic these are going to target will be young kids in high schools, fresh out of high schools or in junior colleges.

These schools will offer a full range of courses designed to teach their students more than just the basics of how to inspect homes, as today's crop of inspector mills does. These schools will teach the basics of construction and the building sciences; business fundamentals; light engineering; construction math; report writing; mechanical drawing and topics that will provide the student a full arsenal with which to meet this business head on.

Students from those courses will be able to enter inspection firms as low man on the totem pole and work their way up, just like other professions do now, or, they'll be able to start their own businesses and be able to stay in business, instead of folding in a year or two, as so many do now. The idea isn't going to be to put 10,000 home inspectors out of business. It's going to be to allow them to gradually phase out of business by hiring these younger people as second and third inspectors in successful companies and then, as they mature, allowing them more and more responsibility, until they, one day, are the business.

When that time comes, there will be a whole generation of inspectors who grew up in this profession, not some other. When it does, I'm betting the way we do business and inspect homes will be a whole lot different than the way we do it today.

ONE TEAM - ONE FIGHT!!!

Mike

[Bonnie Trenga]

Why not rewrite the boilerplate so it contains information, not fluff? If you have a solid starting point, your end product will be much improved.

If the report-writing seminars are so crappy, perhaps you should ignore them!

As far as bad spelling, just use spell-checker as a last check, but don't rely on it to find mistakes like it's/its.

I would agree that a one-page report would be more readable than a 23-page one. One of the comments I make in the book is that the best writing teacher I ever had made us write no more than a paragraph to get our ideas across, so we had to make every word count. There's no need to dress up a report with fluff, jargon and verbiage. People buying/selling a home want a simple piece of writing they can understand, and one that contains information about the home.

Yes, get rid of the phrase "appears to be"!

I don't think I could lead a seminar. I did, however, write my book to be accessible to everyone. One reviewer on Amazon said it was like having me sitting right next to him.

I've been a copyeditor for 10 years and wrote the book because I kept changing the same weak writing mistakes in everything from a PhD thesis on some math concept I didn't understand to a fiction novel about duck hunting. I don't think it's just home inspectors who haven't learned to write. I think it's most everybody. I was hoping my book would start discussion, as it seems to have here (excellent!).

[ozofprev]

Mike and James,

Thanks for the sanity check.

Mike,

I understand what you are saying. Wish I could say that I see your vision becoming a reality, but there is no evidence.

[ozofprev]

Bonnie,

You are an oasis in our desert!

Unfortunately, those making the money in report writing offer peanut butter, and everybody is getting peanut breath. Like Mike said, time - lots and lots of time.

[roadguy]

Mike,

I understand what you are saying. Wish I could say that I see your vision becoming a reality, but there is no evidence.

Au contraire, Gary.

I offer as evidence, on another thread in this very forum, the fact that one of the national organizations (NAHI, I believe) has sought out the ubiquitous ASTM International for aid in standardization. That, my friend, be it for the good or the bad, will definitely get the ball rolling. Standardized test methods are what separate technicians from opinion spouters.

Will that improve writing/communication skills? Read anything written by the average engineer to answer that question yourself. I think not. But perhaps the inclusion of a Reporting 101 or Technical Writing class as part of HI education/continuing education requirements would do so. Folks would be more inclined to invest in that sort of education if the profession was not treated as the proverbial "red headed step-child" of the technical fields. That kind of legitimisation begins with standardization. [:-wiltel]

[rjw]

Originally posted by kurt

There's reasons for all the report software products; folks can't write.

Unfortunately, neither can many of the people who write for some of the software companies.

[rjw]

I find it ironic that in a thread about writing skills, the term boilerplate has been almost entirely mis-used - it is not cruddy, bad writing reproduced ad nauseam.

At least for legal documents (which our reports are, in that they may face scrutiny by legal types) boiler plate is language which has proven itself as effective and highly resistant to attack.

"Boiler plate" is good. Ask your attorney if you can't just cut the boiler plate out of your contract: "It's just boiler plate, isn't it?"

Crappy writing isn't the same thing.

And, I believe, one element of good writing is accuracy of expression