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Monster Shredder

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There's some amazing shred technology out there. I recently wanted to get rid of about five years worth of paper files and called a guy up. He told me that he'd be in a nearby town at about 4:00 pm on such-and-such date and quoted me a price. I showed up there with the back of my baja stacked high with boxes. We dickered a little bit and I finally got him to do the whole bunch for $100, which was about half of what others had quoted me.

I thought it would take about half an hour to 45 minutes to shred all of that crap. Nope, he dumped boxes into one of those big plastic containers that you put recycling in, wheeled it over to his truck, swung an arm down, it picked up the container, hoisted it up and dumped it into the top of the box on the back of the truck and the truck started whirring away and literally rocking back and forth on it's suspension system. He came over to my truck and dumped more file boxes into that container. By the time he was on his way back to his truck again, the whirring had stopped. Five minutes later, I was standing there thinking that I'd paid him about $70 too much to shred all of those files.

What a racket! The guy has a daily circuit that he drives and people meet his truck to get their stuff shredded. No employees, practically no overhead other than the payments, maintenance on his vehicle, tipping costs, his phone and other basic business needs and he never has to climb up onto roofs or crawl through muck past dead things or worry that someone will sue him just to take their frustrations out on him.

I kicked myself in the ass as I drove away.



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Not the sort of thing you'd want to fall into.

Ahem. Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?

Yeah, he lost his edge.

- Jim Katen, Oregon

Not true. He simply failed to see it coming.

They were a farsight better off at the funeral home. They buried him in a glasses case.
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